Kristin Davin, Psy.D, Licensed Psychologist
Offering individual virtual therapy in New York, New Jersey, Florida, and Connecticut
Escaping Unhealthy Relationships
Signs of an unhealthy relationship
An unhealthy relationship can really take a toll on your mental health, making you feel anxious, stressed, or even depressed. Over time, it can chip away at your self-esteem and confidence. Here are some signs to watch for:
1. Lack of Trust:
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If trust is lacking, it can create a lot of tension. You might find yourself constantly questioning your partner’s actions or feeling the need to monitor their behavior, which can make everything feel uncertain and unstable.
2. Communication Problems:
Healthy relationships thrive on open and honest communication. If you’re not able to talk things through without misunderstandings or feelings of resentment, that can indicate something isn’t right. Poor communication can cause things to fester and lead to bigger issues down the line.
3. Power Struggles:
In unhealthy relationships, one person may try to control or dominate the other. This can show up as emotional manipulation, threats, or coercive behavior, where one partner feels like they’re constantly being pushed around.
4. Lack of Emotional Support:
In a healthy relationship, both partners support each other emotionally. But if one person is consistently dismissive or unsupportive when the other is in need, it’s a sign something’s off.
5. Codependency:
Codependency is when one person consistently puts the needs of their partner above their own, often to the point of neglecting their own well-being. This might look like someone not being able to set boundaries, covering up for their partner’s mistakes, or feeling like they have to control everything around them to feel secure. People who struggle with codependency often experience low self-worth and neglect their own needs to care for someone else.
6. Gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a sneaky form of psychological manipulation where one partner makes the other question their own thoughts, feelings, memories, and even sanity. The goal is for the person doing the gaslighting to make their version of reality seem like the truth. If you're constantly doubting yourself or second-guessing what you know is real, it could be a sign that gaslighting is happening in the relationship.
7. Emotional Immaturity:
An emotionally immature partner can be really draining. They might struggle to manage their emotions and have a hard time understanding their own feelings, let alone yours. Whether it's an emotionally immature man or woman, they often have trouble communicating healthily, and they can get defensive over small things. Their lack of empathy adds to the emotional strain, leaving you feeling exhausted and emotionally depleted.
8. Toxic Behavior:
Toxic behaviors can be pretty easy to spot, but hard to deal with. Some signs include using guilt to manipulate you, giving backhanded compliments, or being controlling or abusive. They might engage in love bombing (showering you with affection to manipulate), fail to recognize how their behavior affects you, rarely apologize, and even compete with you rather than support you. If any of these sound familiar, it’s worth taking a step back and reassessing.
All of these signs can be red flags that a relationship isn't as healthy as it should be, and they can really affect your emotional and mental well-being. Recognizing them is the first step toward making changes or seeking help if needed.
So, are you in an unhealthy relationship?
Do you find yourself stuck in these kinds of patterns, constantly repeating them? Sometimes recognizing these signs is the first step toward making a change or deciding what boundaries you need to set.