How To Heal from a Toxic Relationship
Choosing to end a toxic relationship, although necessary, is seldom easy. After all, you love this person which makes ending and leaving the relationship all the more difficult. However, once you end the toxic relationship, you can begin the healing process.
There are several ways to begin the process of healing, that ultimately provide you the opportunity to find peace, experience personal growth, and become healthy.
And despite the emotional upheaval leaving a toxic relationship creates, over time, you will discover that it was the right decision and there were positive benefits.
Benefits to ending a toxic relationship
Sometimes when we start a new relationship, we don’t always see the red flags that it is or could become toxic. Or sometimes we do see a few signs but tend to ignore them because we want the relationship to continue. We might find ourselves becoming codependent, making the decision to leave even more challenging.
This is because toxic people are very good at making you feel insecure and that something is wrong with you. They are emotionally draining and suck all the life out of you and the relationship. But eventually, we realize we have to end it.
Granted, ending a toxic relationship may initially feel overwhelming and daunting, but there are several benefits to ending it. Many of the benefits focus on you - the one who wants to heal and feel better.
You will learn to rediscover your passions, understand your relationship patterns by doing a relationship inventory, find ways to become happier, improve your overall emotional, mental and physical health, and discover how to have healthier relationships in life.
You will also rediscover what it means to be happy as you become more independent.
If you are thinking about ending a toxic relationship or are trying to move on after your toxic relationship just ended, let’s chat. Click the button below to book a free 15-minute consultation and discover how we can work together so you can heal after leaving a toxic relationship.
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7 Tips to Heal After a Toxic Relationship
Removing yourself from a toxic relationship is a journey worth taking, even if it is the last thing you want to do in the moment. Taking this journey means you will experience ups and downs, self-doubt, anxious moments, sadness, and often significant pain.
However, the steps you are taking are nothing short of brave and once you leave, you can start your healing process.
Practice mindfulness.
Reconnect with family and friends.
Engage in a hobby.
Spend time alone to rediscover yourself.
Don’t contact your ex.
Feel your feelings.
Journal and express gratitude.
1. Practice Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the simple act of learning how to be present and not doing things to escape or distract yourself from your feelings. It is learning how to be ‘mindful’ of your thoughts and feelings and not pass judgment on them.
Just accept and be. This often takes some practice because it may feel like your thoughts are everywhere, but give yourself some time and just practice a few minutes each day and slowly build up to more time.
2. Reconnect with family and friends.
Family and friends will provide you with the support that you need during this challenging time. This might also be a good time to build out your support system and surround yourself with people who have your back and provide the love and attention you need and want. This will also help you become stronger as they will be there for you when your previous partner was not. They will help you feel better.
3. Engage in a hobby.
Ask yourself, what am I interested in doing? What would make me happy? Often when we get emotionally involved in a toxic and draining relationship, we don’t engage in things that bring us joy.
A hobby could be reading, running, journaling, painting - just anything that you feel would bring you joy. Are you unsure? No problem. Why not try different things to see what you like most? Get in touch with your creative side!
4. Spend time alone to rediscover yourself.
Getting lost in a toxic and unhealthy relationship often means that you put your needs and wants aside and focus on your partner. This is normal but unhealthy. When you choose to leave this relationship, you will have a lot of time to yourself which is a great way to rediscover yourself.
This could be spending time at home instead of going out, reading, or anything that allows you to focus on yourself and disconnect and heal from the toxic relationship. The alone time may prove challenging at first, but eventually, you will learn how to relish and lean into it. It will become your healing place.
5. Don’t contact your ex.
The urge will come to contact your ex - in one way or another. The draw and desire to scroll through social media will be there - you can depend on that. But in the moment you want to reach out simply ‘sit on your hands, bite your tongue, resist the urge and reach out to a friend if necessary for support.
Hit the pause button, give yourself a timeout and think about how you would feel if you gave in to the urge.
I would think that if you did that when it was all done, you wouldn’t feel that great about yourself. Make a plan to honor yourself FIRST and don’t contact your ex.
6. Feel your feelings.
You will experience a mixture of feelings - a roller coaster of them - and many ‘fits and starts’ but that’s part of the process. Remember that. There is strength in acknowledging that this is the process you have to go through to heal. And honestly, your feelings are telling you that you cared and that says something positive about yourself.
Yes, the relationship became toxic and unhealthy but it’s important to remember that you have the capacity to care for another person and that’s why it’s important to be kind to yourself and accept all of your feelings through this process.
7. Journal and express gratitude.
Journaling is a great way to write down all of your thoughts and feelings through this process. It will also show you - in real words - how much you have changed when you reflect back and read what you wrote. That’s the great thing about journaling - it’s the container, the safe place for all that you are going through.
It’s your memory and life planner. It can include whatever you want it to be and hold. There are no rules - just yours. It’s a place to express gratitude for the growth you are experiencing and the grace you give yourself.
Final Thoughts
Taking the steps to heal from a toxic relationship in healthy ways is part of growing as a person. Eventually, you will find your way, and the pain you experienced will be in the rearview mirror and brighter and happier days will be right in front of you. The journey, though daunting at times, is necessary.
Have you recently left a toxic relationship and struggling to heal? Let’s chat. I offer a free 15-minute consult to discuss how we can work together and get you back on track.
Other resources:
8 Pillars of a Strong Relationship
5 Ways Your Childhood Affects Your Romantic Relationships
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