Dating Advice: 7 Ways to Date More Intentionally
Mention the word "dating," and some people want to head for the hills. It shouldn't be a torturous experience, and yet, many haven't figured out how to date successfully. Dating doesn't come down to rocket science; anyone can do it with good results. There are several things you can do to date more intentionally and create the relationship you want for yourself.
The Brain Really Feels Love
Most human beings on the planet desire romantic love, and it's unique to everyone. Songwriters, poets, and artists all try to express it, and still, love can be mysterious. The brain can recognize what falling in love is. Psychologists say that a person develops an extremely strong physiological response when attracted to another.
After spending time together, a couple enters a love bubble or love euphoria. Dating is a necessary step that helps individuals connect and find that powerful moment when two people click.
1. Be Authentic when you go on dates
When it comes to intentional dating, one of the best things you can do is be your true self. Your authenticity matters, and it will show up sooner or later. Have you ever been on a date with someone who acted one way, and then, several weeks later, turned out to be a totally different individual? None of us is perfect.
To build a healthy relationship in the future, it's important to own who you are and allow someone to see you fully. Being authentic from the beginning will show the other person that you are not going to change and become someone different.
2. Have Fun
Dating doesn't have to be so serious. Promise yourself that you'll have a great time no matter what, and go out on the date with that attitude. Keep it light, but also, don't be afraid to communicate directly. If you get the feeling that your date isn't on the same page, move on. Save your energy for someone better. You have to put yourself out there and date different people.
When you date, you meet a lot of different people that can help you figure out what personality traits you like about people that are a good fit for you. However, dating also provides you the opportunity to get to know yourself better as well. That last part is key in dating.
3. Avoid Over-Analyzing
Allow things to unfold naturally. Many times, the mind goes on and on trying to figure out why your date said this or did that. Stop over-analyzing. Your best friends don't need to hear every detail about your dating experience, either. You don't need their analysis of every movement your date makes and what this might mean for a future relationship.
When we spend so much time over-analyzing a person or a situation we could be missing something positive about this person. However, if there is something that you are seeing in this person that triggers you, then think about that - but that’s very different from over-analyzing.
If you are looking to improve yourself and your life, individual therapy is an incredible tool to take you to the next level and improve your dating life! For a free 15-Minute Consultation, click the button below and get in touch and see how we can work together.
interested in working together? lets’ chat!
4. Stop Comparisons
Another way to mess up your dating life is by letting your ex resurface. Every new person you meet and date is an individual. In time, this person will reveal themselves to you. Comparing your date to your ex or anyone else is unfair. Don't live in the past; look ahead.
As people, we do have a tendency to compare - especially if we have unresolved triggers or haven’t worked through a past relationship that negatively affected us. So, it’s important to make sure that if you are doing this, you hit the pause button, and figure out why you are doing this. After all, if the tables were turned, we wouldn’t want to be compared to someone else, right? We wouldn’t feel that was fair (because it isn’t).
5. Mean What You Say
Here's another great tip on the way to dating more intentionally. Sometimes, you may feel too polite to express what you're feeling to your date. You're unsure or afraid to disappoint. Honest communication matters say behavioral experts. Say yes when you mean yes. Saying no is not a sin.
This also will help you set healthy boundaries. Sometimes a person may find themselves in situations they wish they were not. This is especially true around sex. But if you don’t want to do something (sex or something else), just say no and be honest about how you feel. How that person responds to your honesty will say a lot.
6. Drop Prerequisites
If you're going on a first date, you probably have a little list of requirements you expect the person you're meeting should have. Some of these could include common interests, religion, age, facial traits, etc.
Psychologists advise dropping the prerequisites. It's unfair to project a narrative onto someone before you even know them well. Give them a chance. However, it is important to be aware of some of the things that are important to you that you feel strongly about and shouldn’t be ignored or blatant red flags.
7. Envision Your Best Self
What person doesn't have insecurities, right, but remember this: You are the catch. Let your date impress you. Even if you don't feel confident, envision your best self and relax. You've got this. Instead of thinking, I wonder if I am a good fit for this person, think about and ask yourself, are they a good fit for me?
Closing Thoughts
When you're dating more intentionally, it should still be fun and light. Go in with your eyes wide open. There isn't just one outcome. You're opening yourself up to someone new, and the right connection is out there.
Looking to live more intentionally? Check out my new interactive workbook here!
Embark on a transformative journey with our workbook featuring 40 thought-provoking questions designed to guide you toward a more intentional and purposeful life. Explore your values, clarify your goals, and cultivate greater self-awareness through engaging exercises that empower you to make mindful choices and create a life aligned with your deepest aspirations.
Photo by Jep Gambardella
Guest post: Tracie Johnson
